Alamo Scout Conrad Vineyard
at the Bataan Memorial Museum
For as long as I can remember, old-timers around central Illinois used to talk about a place where morel mushrooms grew taller than men and weighed more than five champion coon hounds. It is told that one mushroom could feed a man and his entire family for 50 years; that is, if he ate nothing else. Every spring from mid-April to late-May, the best and brightest morel hunters migrated to
Grit and Willie had become the laughing stock of Chicks, and even they were beginning to think of themselves as failures. "Let's get the hell out of here, Willie," said Grit defiantly. "These guys aren't real mushroom hunters. They're just a bunch of wannabes! We'll show them."
"You guys go on!" urged a voice from the shadows. "Maybe you'll find the 'Fabulous Fungus' patch! If you do, say hello to Santa and the Tooth Fairy for me!" The laughter was nauseating.